The sobriety lane

I walk down this lane alone with ATPs left in my muscles and burning light in my chest.

I left my past behind me where I blamed so many people and so many things for my tears. I discarded so many ticks of the clock waiting for something that never came. I was so drunk, drunken by a huge wave of self-distrust, or self-contempt, i wasn’t sure, and i could barely stand, let alone walk.

While walking, i think of myself sometimes. How funny it is to lose the power to trust my strong self, while holding strong to a false believe that God isn’t very helpful.

What is ahead seems blurry but it promises me a future. The tiny light in my chest whispers me contentment and trust, and those are enough for me to keep walking.

I may be more vulnerable. I am helpless in God’s plan. But i am so strong i am invincible to whatever comes ahead of me. 

So here I am, Dear sobriety lane, try me, and i may stay sane and solid, and fully accepting of God’s best plans. 

How Long

How many more years does it take for you to realize that those people are seriously looking after you?

How many more heartbreaks will you cause to find out that you actually break your own heart many times?

How many more cakes do you need to bake to understand that the distraction from your reality doesn’t solve your problems?

How many more fake smiles are you gonna put to disguise your true confusion?

How many more prostrations will you waste without mindful wishes before you run out of your time in this world?

How many more helping hands will you reject to reach out for help?

How many more sleepless nights will you endure to finally get up and deal with the mess you made?

How long will this last???

The Ultimate Mood Boosters

Just quickly post it here, that today I just found out another mood booster. Oh, why is mood so important, you said? Sure it is especially for people with a mood disorder, a kind of psychological disorder. The more severe spectrum is the bipolar disorder, where your mood repetitively goes up (called being manic) then drops down (called being depressed) with a normal episode in between.

I have tried one and other things to lift my mood almost everyday for I wake up in the morning without necessarily always feeling great. Thus I need to list the things that would possibly make someone feel better when someone does it:

1. Waking up early before sunrise, performing Fajr prayer (solat subuh) ontime

2. Doing a cardio workout, cycling is preferable. Running is even better, but it really depends on the circumstances.

3. Taking a shower with cold water.

4. Drinking a cup (or more) of sugar-free coffee.

5. Playing along with kids, preferably those under 5 years of age. –> this is the most recent one!

6. Smiling, even when you are alone, for at least 10 secs.

7. Performing dzikr (remembrance of God), simply subhanalloh walhamdulillaah or anything else.

8. Reading really good books.

9. Talking to a really best friend and focusing on positivities.

Those are based on my personal experiences which I keep evaluating every now and then. They can be effective sometimes and useless some other times. You do even one out of those items and you will not be depressed for the rest of the day, or you can do ALL of them.

today-i-m-gonna-be-happy-print

Anyone has anything to add my list?