Weary thirty

Dear my online diary which everyone can see,

I am thirty already and I am not at my best state of faith. That is a shame because I have been better in some variables. A few among them are fasting and Quran recalling. In other aspects, I doubt that I am better than my past, too. The irony is, at this low state, I am asking Allah one of the biggest provisions: a righteous husband.

How come I ask the biggest thing but I don’t even try to be the best slave to Allah? This does not make any sense but Allah’s Mercy is abundant and does not have to make sense.

So here I am wondering how far I have come in this life. How Merciful Allah Has Always Been to me. So I strive, hopefully the faith left in my heart grows bigger and I may die as a pious slave, married or not. Aamiin.

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